David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
