is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
