I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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