I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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