i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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