it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize