Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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