Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
