Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize