so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Pants are for mortals
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
