Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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