What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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