He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
