Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
