i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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