I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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