You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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