Whod you bang
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
