I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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