i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
