it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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