I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
