I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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