youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
