Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
