Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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