when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
