his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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