My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cockslap morals
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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