Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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