you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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