TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
