Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
