They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
