Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
