turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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