how can u be prego again
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
