You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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