I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
