i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
