You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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