Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
