The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
