And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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