Where did you get a picture of my penis
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
NoShamevember. You game?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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