Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
