HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
