I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
