: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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