Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
