k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't turn off my feet"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
