it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Let's get the cat blown out
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
