Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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