she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
