So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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