Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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