now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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