If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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